No concession

Kerry's sudden concession has taken us all by surprise here at campaign headquarters. One moment he was promising to "count every vote", the next moment he's meekly telephoning Bush to capitulate. The word in the sewer is that Cheney, worried by the possibility that a recount might actually deliver Ohio to the Democrats, threatened to give Fox News the photographs from Kerry's "Skull and Bones" initiation. Not surprisingly, the Big Guy caved.

Luckily, our own candidate is of sterner stuff. When I called him to let him know of Kerry's decision, his first instinct was to continue the fight. Although it took me some time to actually get through to Gollum. I ended up arguing for at least a quarter of an hour with that half-wit Smeagol, who kept insisting that we should call Bush to concede because "... if we doesn't, maybe nice Mr Bush doesn't like us any more. Maybe he thinks we're a bad loser."

I explained to him that with flagrant, serious irregularities in the way that the election was conducted, there could be no question of our losing yet. Our observers have reported many instances of our orc supporters being turned away from polling stations and not even allowed to fill in provisional ballots. We intend to fight this one tooth and claw. I've put together a press release and got the web troll to put it up.

The election may be over, but the battle has just begun.